What is Diet Talk and How to Successfully Navigate it this Holiday Season
Diet culture is loud 365 days a year, but it seems that around the holidays, it inevitably revs up and rears its ugly head. It plans to feed on innocent, well-intentioned folks who fall into the trap of believing that this is the year that they need to stick to their weight loss plan, diet, extreme exercise regimen, etc.
What is diet culture exactly? I personally love Christy Harrison’s definition, which you can find here. The diet industry encourages people to feel bad about themselves and their food choices and bodies. It encourages restriction and guilt, and it suggests that “disciplined people” make plans to lose weight come 12 o’clock on New Year’s Day. Gym commercials ramp up, magazine covers tell you which diet you MUST try next, and cleanses fill our social media feeds. The diet industry doesn’t care about your health or happiness, they just want your money.
What diet culture doesn’t mention, however, is the fact that we have SO much less control over our weight and body shape than they want us to believe (which is exactly what makes the dieting industry so lucrative!).
FYI on the subject of “cleanses”
Your liver and kidneys work to cleanse your body. They are your detoxifiers, equalizers, and regulators. And the best part: they are FREE. The expensive juice cleanse you see advertised may seem enticing as it promises weight loss (hello water weight), purifying and detoxifying cells, “health,” but it also promises lots of extra time on the toilet (gross, but true).
ICYMI: this video from Jameela Jamil pretty much sums it up.
Not only does the media push us to believe that dieting, restriction, and increased exercise are essentially mandatory around the New Year, but sometimes it brainwashes the people around us, they fall into the trap, and they try to bring us with them. It isn’t uncommon for friends, family, professors, and colleagues to make references to weight or dieting come November through January (let’s face it: year round). In fact, it is often something folks often find common ground with and can bond over. Humans are hardwired to seek connection, and unfortunately diet talk and body bashing can feel like that shared interest.
We aren’t meant to be perpetually participating in self-imposed starvation, shrinking to our smallest possible selves and engaging in joyless, militant exercise.
After all, we have all been taught to think we must shrink our bodies every year in order to be the best versions of ourselves. NOT true. All these things do is distract us and suck the joy from our lives; ultimately sabotaging true health and wellbeing.
But this doesn't need to be you, too. You don’t have to think that you need to change your body in order to be “healthier” or “better.” The holidays do not have to mean impending punishment in the form of dieting, restriction, guilt, or excessive movement. In fact, even the THREAT of a diet or punishment via restricting or compensatory exercise can trigger binging or overeating. This is our body’s survival instincts kicking in to protect us from perceived famine.
The holidays are about traditions (albeit, they may look different this year). They are about time with friends and family (virtually or in-person). They are about connecting over foods that have been passed down through generations. Though almost universally regarded as delicious, these celebratory foods can receive labels that may insinuate less positive feelings, i.e. indulgent, rich, gluttonous, guilty pleasure etc, but let me just say that there is literally nothing wrong with enjoying your food.
We have been taught to fear words that describe delicious food. We have repeatedly, through generations, been told that we must “limit ourselves” around food, that we must use “willpower” to avoid eating too much of the good things. And sometimes, that language can take over conversations. It removes the emphasis on the holiday itself and shifts to commenting on how our appearance, and somehow our worth, would change if we allowed ourselves to fully enjoy. I repeat, NOT true. Our brains are hardwired to derive pleasure from food. If we didn’t enjoy food, there would be very little drive to seek out food- rendering it difficult to survive as a species. Our desire to eat foods that provide positive feelings and comfort has n o t h i n g to do with willpower or moral character!!
People may try to use jokes about weight loss, calories, and weight gain to seem relatable, but here’s the thing…
Jokes about weight are way more harmful than helpful.
Aunt Sally may make a joke about which body part her pie is going to, but you don't have to. In fact, you know that it isn't true. That, however, doesn't mean her language doesn't suck you in and make you question your next forkful.
I like to believe that deep down, we all know that our worth isn’t dependent on our food choices or weight, but the jokes are easy and people love a little humor. So if the issue arises this holiday season, here are some ways to combat it:
You not a sponge!
You do not need to absorb and internalize other people’s disordered food and body image beliefs and attitudes. That person is likely projecting, and it’s not yours to carry
Rather than take it personally, remember that diet talk belongs to our broken culture, not you.
No one is immune to diet culture, but you can rise above it and continue to take care of yourself in a positive way
Change the conversation
Did you watch [the latest series you watched on Netflix]?
Have you picked up any quarantine hobbies?
What was the last movie you watched?
“I heard we’re going to have a snowy winter” (the weather is always a safe conversation topic, as cliche as it seems)
Literally ANYTHING else is a more interesting topic!
Excuse yourself
It is perfectly acceptable to remove yourself from the situation
“Excuse me, I’m going to use the restroom”
“I need to help in the other room, I’ll be back later!”
Say nothing
You are allowed to not engage. If you think the conversation will pass and you are comfortable where you are, you can just wait for a new topic to emerge
Saying nothing at all may speak volumes! Not participating may send the message that Aunt Sally’s next Whole 30 is not something you are interested in supporting or interacting with
Fight the system and offer some education
“I’ve actually been reading up on this and there are a lot of people who suggest we don’t label our food as ‘good’ or ‘bad’ and that 95% of dieters end up regaining the weight they lost!”
“I think food on holidays tastes better because it has memories associated with it. I would hate to ruin those memories or recipes by trying to alter them for the sake of ‘health’”
“I think health is about more than just what we eat”
“I’ve started to think about food as energy. It makes it easier for me to just enjoy and not dwell on every bite I put in my mouth”
“We don’t need to ‘earn’ our food-- bodies don’t work that way”
“I have started to listen to my body more and now I choose forms of movement that bring me joy and energy. No more dreading workouts for me!”
Reminders:
You do NOT need to “earn” your food
You do NOT need to “save your calories” for the big meal
You do NOT need to compensate with extra movement (exercise) before OR after the meal
The diet does NOT need to start tomorrow, Monday, or ever
Health is what you do MOST of the time, and one day won’t make or break your health
Food comments from other people are often reflecting their own thoughts and fears, which do NOT have to be your opinion too
The only real “detox” you need is the one from your scale
Make a plan with your dietitian and/or therapist for what you will do during the holidays if situations arise that make you uncomfortable. You have a team of cheerleaders and supporters for a reason-- use them!
And if you feel that you need extra support on these tricky days, NEDA chat is available to reach out to, and you can also reach out to Liberated Nutrition to get your journey to a healthier relationship with food started1
Food around the holidays is delicious, special, and full of memories-- you have every right in the world to enjoy.
